Vigil for Brother Abedi

(To Abeid Mihambo 'Dakota')
- pass the chalice, Thabit'.

Then, without much ado than a casual review of the compartment's squalor, the old man, the One Going to the Wedding, tossed out this: "Too much wiping of the asshole one ends up touching shit!"

We had finished eating, washed our hands and picked our teeth with matchsticks offered by the red fan. The One Going to the Wedding collected himself like a lotus yogi in a corner, arms folded calmly across his chest. In one hand, he earnestly fingered his worry beads as one who had lost all faith in earthly institutions, certainly those ran by his own people. A deep line invaded his face: "They should have done all this in a more wise way."
His voice creased, his disappointment swum between the stunned jumble of broken promises. He spoke gravely and as cynics go, he was a day-to-day philosopher, espousing on chicken broth and foibles of the president of the republic. His pious face travelled the torn mattresses, the broken wash basin, the dark ominous patches on the walls, and settled on the jerrycans passengers took water in for the journey:

"As soon as they got the power from the white man, they just jumped onto government and succeeded to make a mess of everything! Everything! They nationalised the banks, the railways, the farms, shops - you name it! And they wanted to have blacks in all positions, and all this in a fortnight! The president of the republic just walked down Independence Avenue and met an old school-friend, 'you must be Kiko, we went to school together?' and Kiko answers, 'Yes, sir. I am the one you made captain of the football team in standard six when you were head-prefect!' and the president of the republic laughed and told Kiko, 'Kiko from today you are captain of the united republic's Peoples' Defence Forces!' Just like that! That was how eager they wanted to take over! Now look at all this!"

He fooled with torn sponge of the open mattress, "we have regressed with everyday of the Englishman's departure! The president made all these," he sawed the cabin with bad-tempered hands, "the people's property! The people's army, servants of the people, the people's farms and the people's this and the people's that! Only his wife was not property of the people!" He gave a hard chuckle. "Because the people own everything, then no one owns anything! Who cares then? Why should I want to be responsible if I know that the next person is irresponsible? I can tell you young men." He gave a glance over to the one Going to Visit Children. "...And ustadh here can confirm what I am going to tell you."

The One Visiting Children agreed shaking his chin. The One Going to the Wedding directed himself to us, he spoke with a prayer in his eyes: "I can tell you that during the white man's rule one could not drop a banana peel randomly like throwing corn seed! if you did and you were seen, you would be fined, severely lashed, six strokes! And ordered to clean the streets for six months!" he frowned with approval. "Not this nonsense of the people's this and the people's that! -now we are forced to sleep in this pigsty and that after bribing a fool for a ticket! At the state we are now, we would have been better off with another twenty years of white man!"

We were all quiet. We were quiet and living only in the silence of the train's rumbles, for the One Going to the Wedding gave us a vivid reason to take him seriously for the first time since the journey began. The football fans had stopped talking about the final match. The timber businessman hung down his jelly face in the emptiness between opposite berths. I sat astounded by the clarity of the proverb. Indeed, I thought, we have not only touched shit, we were wallowing in it; greed was an ingrained part of our national psyche, we knew no other way beyond incivility and shabbiness; all that which was decent and functional belonged to others, blessed and living in cold but cosy countries. The One Going to the Wedding briefly simplified our past:

"It is not hard," he said, "to trace the essence of our inferior behaviours." He evaluated our gifts from the gods. A pleasant, warm climate all year-round; lush and vibrant vegetation thriving on the most fertile of soils. "Life was wonderful here before, I can safely tell you that! Within that prosperity, laziness set in. It just ensnared us," he shook his hands lazily to explain how indolence set in, "we became experts of dance and song. We emphasised useless rituals and traditions, just to get any excuse to celebrate!" he said and asked of us, "we are known for rhythm and feeling, aren't we?" he was busy he didn't wait for our answer, "when in other parts of the world people were suffering in bitter colds, our ancestors were leisurely calculating another dance step! People in other countries had to struggle to survive; they learned discipline, cleanliness and responsibility; had to, if they were to survive the harsh fortune of that climate!"

He tugged his worry beads and calmly concluded. "They tried to teach us that discipline, but no, we wanted to be free! You call this freedom! Hah! We have gone from runners, to walkers and now we are begging for capacity to crawl." He appraised thoroughly the vandalised made-in- India cabin, "Freedom, gentlemen, is not to become beggars."

"Ahaa!" the One Going to Visit Children in the coast said with a strange, quick grin. The time was nigh for him too, to dispense some wisdom; when his mouth opened, banality squirted out as rapidly as the baobabs outside: "In the Book, surat Al-imran, verse eleven, all this was predicted�"

The republic was passing outside and I realised that I had to join the Ti-ti in the Buffet Car. I excused myself and eased out. That was my second lesson.

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